Twilight New Moon and Then What Happens..

Twilight, what, again?

If Twilight New Moon – The Next Chapter Begins were a novel, it would be painfully too long and a murderer of trees, annoyingly pseudo-moody, and more times than I have fingers and toes and appendages just not that interesting.  Less is more, I hear my inner voice whispering out loud.  Less is more.  Yet hardcore fans and netherworld aficionados will no doubt be enthralled with what-happens-next-glee as the story picks up with main character Bella, aka deadpan Stewart (Kristen Stewart) recovering from the vampire attack that almost killed her, but not quite, on the eve of her birthday.  But you’re not here for yet another synopsis of the movie and if you are one of the minions of the franchise, most if not all of what I’m writing will affect you like sunlight on the Cullen clan. What amazes me in a two-for-one, 64 ounce two-pack of pickles at Costco kind of way, is the sheer volume of people who are not affected by the flimsy plot or take tissue with such thin characters who spend too much time in concentrated angst.  Where New Moon strikes me like dead, stiffening weight and is perhaps the most unforgivable is with such undeniably bad performances.  Where was the director while all of this was burning holes in our retinas?  I know, I get it, the target audience is composed of hormone enraged 14-year-old girls poised on the precipice between childhood and adolescence, concerned as much with makeup and fashion as photoshopped magazine covers of their favorite boy gods.  And were it not for this realization and perhaps in despite of it, I might be more apt to forgive the producers, forgo hostility toward novelist Stephanie Meyer and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg, even applaud Chris Weitz for churning out such a profitable mess.  Sure, I’d like a fat check from the franchise coffers but I probably wouldn’t admit to anyone I had been involved with it. But in the end I stand apart, a shadow at sunset, a curmudgeon with a sharp stick at the ready to poke myself if no one else, to send these blood suckers from whence they came and out of my memory altogether.

What I can say about the franchise will no more detour you from watching as suggest popularity is a trustworthy barometer for what constitutes a good film.  As Hollywood is first and foremost a business, Twilight New Moon is a success and success dictates the franchise will go on with or without us stalwart critics.  It matters less and less that films are allowed dreadful plots that meander too long, that characters die a thousand deaths at the helm of unremarkable actors, and that teen melodrama is best described as lifeless cardboard blowing in the wind. But when you’re young and pretty, oh and immortal, frozen good looks and stale conversations are meant to last for centuries too long.

To enlist a popular Hollywood idiom, ‘cha-ching‘ is as ‘cha-ching‘ does.

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About rorydean

Rory Dean is a multi-medium artist, writer and new media strategist with a background as a creative consultant and technology liaison in the San Francisco Bay Area. His broad experiences and specialties include print-to-web publicity, promotions and design marketing using traditional and social media networks. As a motion pictures and television professional, his short films, productions and commercials have screened to domestic and international audiences. His connections to a diverse client base include artists, entertainers, corporations, non-profits and everyday people.. Dean is co-owner and founder of Dissave Pictures, a boutique production company focusing on audio, video, photography and multi-media designs. Dean's personal and professional background includes dreaming and avid notebook journaling, creative and copy writing, promotions and marketing, audio/video production, photography, videography, editing, web design and new media. He’s also a fan of collaboration and knows when to turn the reigns over, offer feedback, lead the team and step aside. His portfolio includes print, online, film, video, photography, graphic design and promotions. He’ll show you. He has a book and everything. "When not juggling various online worlds, I do a pretty good mime – but that’s another story."
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2 Responses to Twilight New Moon and Then What Happens..

  1. agatha82 says:

    You might be scratching your head in regards to the Twilight movies being a success but I am still in shock that Stephanie Meyer has actually become such a successful novelist writing such tripe as “I stared because their faces, so different, so similar, were all devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful.” bleh. Reminds me about Stephen King saying that “the road to hell is paved with adverbs…” indeed.
    Great blog by the way.

    • rorydean says:

      Hi Agatha,
      I can’t agree with you more, though admittedly I haven’t read the novels. Generally speaking, film adaptations of popular novels are a mixed bag to say the least. I usually try to divorce myself from the two worlds since rarely is the case where the movie is as good as the book or the book as good as the movie. I’m reminded of Feather And Loathing In Las Vegas, which I loved the book and not so much the movie, or Girl Interrupted which was by far a superior novel even though I think James Mangold did a superb job with the adaptation. I do think Children Of Men was a superior novel but the film translation stands on its own, in my opinion.

      I’ve always admired Stephen King, though somewhere in the past ten years lost a connection to his work.

      Thanks for the comment and best in your movie journeys..
      rory

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